I know deep in my heart that Matthew is the one for me. I can't wait to marry him and share the rest of my life with him. As much as I am so excited about marriage, it's a little scary too. Divorce seems to happen all the time these days. I feel like it's the easy way out in a lot of circumstances. I don't disagree with divorce because sometimes it really is what's best. If two people have been working on their relationship for years and they aren't happy then why stay married. If you feel like you have done everything in your power to try and make it work and it still isn't then it may be the best thing.
Marriage isn't always going to be easy and you have to constantly work at it. I think communication is the main thing. If you can't talk to each other then how are you going to work something out or know how the other one is feeling? I'm not married so I don't have experience and it's a lot easier said then done but you take an oath to honor, love, cherish, and obey until death do us part. One would think you would try harder to save a marriage.
I am very blessed that my parents are still together. I have never had to experience divorce. I hope I never have to. When I hear that people are getting a divorce, the first thing that pops into my head is just how very sad. I am mainly sad because this beautiful at one time marriage is now no more. All I really think is that they aren't going to be living together anymore but recently I've come to realize it's so much more than that.
Children
When a couple gets divorced and they have children, it's not only them going through a divorce, it's the entire family. I see too many times where the adults are so wrapped up into who gets what, who gets the kids when, fight fight fight, and they never pay attention to how it's affecting their kids. What REALLY makes me sad is when parents talk bad about the other parent to their children. No child wants to hear their mommy bash their daddy or vice versa. That really breaks my heart when a child feels like they have to take sides so one parent is not upset with them. I could go on all day about this subject. I'm very passionate about it. I think that's why I have always wanted to be a family therapist.
Random Questions
What do you do with your wedding album? Do you get rid of it? I mean those were amazing memories but if you fall out of love, do you still keep it? What happens if you remarry...does it mean you throw it away? I've always wondered these things. What about family pictures, do you throw those away? I've seen people cut out the mom or cut out the dad in the picture. I'm sure that makes the children happy to see a broken family picture hanging up. What about all the family members and friends who have pictures of y'all as a family? Are they supposed to take them down? What if they still get along with both people? It's crazy when you think about it all. What about wedding rings? I know you don't wear them but do you keep them or sell them? I hope I never have to answer these because I'm going through one.
Dating
Sometimes I wonder how people can go from being married for years and raising a family together to dating somebody the next week. When I have dated guys in the past no matter how long we dated, it was still hard no matter if it was me or him who broke it off. I know people cope differently and maybe it's easier to go out and date right away but I just could never do it. It would really hurt my feelings if I built a life with someone and we were going through a divorce and he was already dating other people. It would make me feel like I wasn't special or that our marriage didn't mean more to him. I definitely think that people should be happy and move on and remarry....just maybe not while the divorce is still going on...that's my opinion anyway.
I think I have ranted enough. Realizing all of this has just made me know how important it is to be sure you are ready to marry and commit to spending the rest of your life with someone. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Matthew. I will do everything in my power to make our marriage work and to make him happy. I think having God as the center of our lives will really help make that happen. I love you Matthew Blaine Lucas.
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