My best friend

I just need to get this off my chest. I don't know why this bothers me so much because nobody is treating me bad but it's my best friend and her daughter.
How can a man not want to be more involved in his daughter’s life? I don't understand it. She's my goddaughter and I can't get enough of her. When I don't see her for a few days (which barely happens) I feel like she has grown so much in those few days.
I see the way that Melissa is as a mom. She is one of a kind. She puts her daughter before anything and everything in life. The love between her and her daughter is something that I cannot wait for some day. It boggles my mind that seeing your child every other month is good enough. That calling once a week to check in on the same day and time every week is good enough. It's like that is his scheduled time. He has missed so many of her "firsts".
Lately he has been all about how much more money he and his wife are making. He bought a new car, he bought a new computer, he bought fresh lobsters in Dallas for his mother, (but didn't stop by to say hi to his daughter) he pays for everything for him and his wife when they come into town. He doesn't pay child support, he doesn't offer any money to help, he wants them to go to nice restaurants when they're in town but doesn't pay for Melissa or Gianna, and he doesn't pay for any of the activities that he wants to do with her when he's in town. That is all on Melissa...meanwhile she's paying for everything else as well. She pays bills, rent, daycare, food, extras, diapers, etc... Buying a toy here in there is nice but I'm sure Gianna would love being with him more than getting a new toy once a month or every other month. I'm not saying he doesn't love her but he has a very odd way of showing it.

I just want to say that I know there are a lot of single moms and dads out there doing it all on their own. No matter what the circumstance is, you guys are amazing.

Melissa Christine Davidson, you are a wonderful mommy. You amaze me. I will always be there for you...day or night.  Love you sister! :)

Floating on Cloud 9

I can't say enough how blessed I am. Life is full of ups and downs but lately it's almost all been ups! We are at 86 days until the wedding. I can't believe how fast time is flying. I felt like it was dragging at first and now I feel like it won't slow down. There's so much still to do that I want it to slow down but then I can't wait to marry Matthew!  haha.

I have my first wedding shower next weekend. My mom's friend Merry Shuck, also a friend of mine who I have always looked up to is throwing me a church shower. I'm so excited. I can't wait to celebrate with my church family.
We got our engagement pictures done a couple weeks ago. I have a few sneak peeks. Kim Craig who is our photographer, did an amazing job. I wish I could look at myself and love how I look but of course all I did was complain about myself. She will be doing our wedding pictures as well. I can't wait. :)

2 weekends ago, I went shooting clays for the first time. I had such a fun time. I didn't do too bad. I can't wait to go shooting again. I think we might this weekend for father's day. I had a little bruise but it wasn't bad. Nothing bad enough to keep me from going again.
Wedding planning is going wonderful. Everything is coming along. I got my flower girl outfits in the mail last week. I can't wait to see it on them. They are going to steal the show with their cuteness! I can't wait to see our little ring bearer in a little tux. I think I am way more excited to see the kids all dressed up then myself. ha. We went and heard Marisa play the harp this last Saturday. She played what songs she will play at our wedding. It made me get so excited. She is perfect at playing the harp. I can't wait.
We have had two sessions now of premarital counseling. It's going great. I will do anything to make sure that our marriage lasts forever. It's on the other side of Fort Worth so it's fun to just talk and enjoy each other on the drive there and back.
I'm very excited about this weekend. It's a weekend all about Daddy's!! Can't wait to spend it with my amazing daddy and my future daddy in-law! :)

                                 


Random Happy things
I get to start attending church every Sunday! :)
I threw Kristen a small wedding shower at work!

The gas station by my house plays KLTY inside!
I learned how to make my own homemade tomato sauce.
I got to spend last Sunday afternoon with Grandma Kitty.
My Mom, Grandmommie, and Kelsi came and had lunch with me last week!
I love my goddaughter more everyday!

Best Detangler ever...

I got my wedding hanger in!

Best Hummus EVER!

Brayden got baptized!

I went to Bark in the Park with Krunkdaddy!

I love my little family!

Feeling good in your own skin

We finally got our save the dates done. I really like them. It was hard to decide which pictures to use. I either looked like I had a double chin or my cheeks look ginormous or my eyes were shut. I showed all the pictures to my mom and of course she told me I was being too hard on myself. I have always been my hardest critic.

I don’t know why but I have always thought of myself as fat. Growing up I always wanted to be super skinny. I would hear my friends talk in high school about how they were a size 0 or a size 3 or something tiny. I think if I became anorexic, I would still never be a size 0. I started feeling good about myself and the shape I was in and then I dated a guy my junior year. He told me that he wished I looked like Carmen Electra and she had a hot bod. I’m no Carmen. It really hurt my feelings and again I wasn’t happy with myself. I don’t think I wore a bathing suit in front of people for a few years. I look back now and I wish I looked like I did in high school. Haha.

My first year of college I put on that freshman 15 but I then worked all summer to take it back off. I realized not being active in sports and just eating and hanging out wasn’t going to cut it. My second year at Tech I started gaining a ton of weight. I found out that I had a tumor. As much as you don’t want a tumor, it was nice to know there was something that was making me blow up like a balloon. As my tumor got smaller, I started to take off the weight. It’s crazy how people treat you when you gain weight. You get stared at and people are just rude. I hope I have never made any one feel bad about their weight. I started to get in a good place again and happy with my weight but still not thinking it was good enough and I started putting some back on. I found out that I had a thyroid problem.  Bleh….that’s all I have to say about that.

My weight goes up and down all the time having issues with my thyroid. I’m not blaming it all on that because I could be working out way more and eating better at times. It’s a crazy rollercoaster. I feel like a majority of the time I am wishing to always be skinnier and always be prettier. I want Matthew to be proud to show me off. If I can’t get to a point where I love myself no matter what shape I am in at the time then I won’t be happy and I’ll bring Matthew down too.

I know it’s already April but I have some goals that I have set for the next month from today.

1)      To look at myself in the mirror and love the person that I am and to be comfortable in my own skin.

2)      To exercise a few times a week after work.

3)      I keep up on counting my calories…it’s got to help…

4)      To not eat out for lunch at work so much…it’s hard to say no to going out with my coworker’s

This blog was a little personal but I figure if I type it then I have to stick to it. We get our save the dates back tomorrow and I can’t wait to send them out. We get our engagement pictures done in a month. I’m very excited but still afraid of what I will look like…which I’m working on fixing. 143 days until I marry my best friend. I can’t wait for that day.

Shout out to Matthew- Thank you for making me feel beautiful and telling me how beautiful I am every day since the day I met you. I am one lucky gal! J

 Brayden! Matthew and I went to watch him play baseball on Saturday! He kicked some major booty. Cutest guy out there...I mean best player out there! :)

Miss Kylie and her pretty mama! :)

A Weekend of Reflection

Yay for three day weekends! I don't know why but whenever we have a three day weekend I start if off with a cold. I'm not complaining too much because it was really nice to just be lazy on Friday. I slept in and stayed in my pjs. Matthew didn't have class so we were able to spend Good Friday together. He ran a couple of errands and came home with some beautiful pink tulips. I got to use one of my new vases to put them in. Good Friday will always be way more special to our family. My mom finished up radiation 3 years ago on Good Friday. She has been breast cancer free ever since. I feel very blessed to have my mom with me today and to be free from cancer. Cancer is such a cruel disease and I can't wait for the day when we have a cure to heal everyone.

 My mama and me! The most amazing woman I know. I hope I will be half as good as a mom as she is!

 My beautiful flowers!

My new lamp!!

Saturday morning we went to a memorial service for my friend Josh Nelinson's mom. She lost her battle to lung cancer. She was such a sweet sweet person. It was a beautiful service. I felt awful when I heard the news and I had no idea that she had been battling it since July. It made me feel like such a horrible friend. We get so busy in our daily lives and before you know it months have gone by. Josh has always been such a great friend to me and my whole family loves him to death. It really made me think about the person I am and how I want to better myself. I want to be there for my friends and I want them to know just how much I care. I would do anything for them no matter how "busy" I am. I'm really good at saying we need to get together but then never making the time to do it. Life is precious and you never know when it will be taken away from you or someone you love. The service also got me thinking about how I want to be remembered. I don't think you are ever too good to improve the type of person you are. I hope to try and better myself every day so that when my day comes, people can look back and have only positive memories.

After the memorial service my mom and I met my bridesmaids at David's Bridal! All six of my beautiful bridesmaids were able to come. They all got fit in their dress and looked stunning. I can't wait to see them all in their color. After getting fit and paying...which it was on sale I might add, we went to BJ's for lunch. I had so much fun. I am so blessed with wonderful friends and family. I love you all times infinity!! :)

Saturday evening I spent with my hunny! He wasn't feeling too good so it was my turn to spoil him. We watched The Help. I LOVED that movie. It was so good! I'm so glad that our world is not like that today. I know there are still people out there who still act so childish but there will always be a couple people who need help.

 Annie doesn't understand Matthew is sleeping...she wants to play.

We had a wonderful Easter Sunday!! I worked in the nursery all three services. The children were all dressed up and hyped up on candy! I really love those kids but I was sad that we were shorthanded because I wasn't able to attend church. When Marta gets back from maturity leave, I am going to give my two weeks. I'm going to miss those little munchkins so much but I want Matthew and I to attend church together. Our Easter service is my favorite service of the whole year. The message and the hymns are wonderful. After church Matthew and I went to his dad's and I GOT MY RING BACK!!! It's all purdy and shiny and as good as ever! I was one happy girl and I am one lucky girl as well!

 I got my ring back!!!

 This is what Annie does every morning. She jumps on Matthew's chest and licks his face until he wakes up. haha! :) 

It was a wonderful weekend and 5 months from yesterday we will be GETTING MARRIED!!! :)

Facebook

Everybody seems to have facebook these days. I am guilty of being on facebook way to much but at the same time I sometimes wonder why I even have it. There is so much on facebook that annoys me...why...I have no idea. lol.
1. You never know how obsessed one person is with themselves until you are friends with them on facebook. They have an album labeled me. They take thousands of pictures of themselves in the mirror, or making some silly duck face, or looking up at the camera so you can see down their shirt. I just don't understand it. You should love yourself and have self confidence but really???
2. People and their politics. Everybody has an opinion. I'm more republican then democrat but I'm not 100% on either side. I'm going to vote for whom ever I think is going to be a great president for this country. All I ever see is people bashing the other. I do make jokes time to time but people who use facebook as their bashing website or to put down others is ridiculous. I actually saw someone say "just because I am a Christian does NOT make me a republican" Wow. I'm pretty sure you have lots of facebook friends who are Republicans...that's sending out a lot of love right there. It's crazy how nasty it can get over politics. I guess that's why I never really discuss my views because I like having friends. lol
3. Who came up with planking, batting, owling, etc...? Yes I will make fun of you but I still love you. haha. I just don't understand how that comes about. One day somebody says take a picture of me planking and before you know it everybody is doing it. What makes it popular for people to want to copy? I just don't get it. Same with the duck face all the girls do...I have never thought it looked so attractive that I should start making that face. hmmm....
4. Tagging yourself everywhere you go. I have done it a few times but I don't do it when I am at home, or doing laundry, or taking a nap, or going to the bathroom. Some people are a little obsessed with updating their status and letting us know what they are doing and what time and what place and who they will be with. If you want somebody to stalk you...I'm pretty sure you would be a piece of cake for them. I don't quite get the point of wanting everybody to know your every move.
5. There are people in high school who weren't the nicest to me at times. They ask to be my friend on facebook and I say yes. I don't hold a grudge and for the most part I don't have anything against anyone in high school. I would hope a majority of us are different and more mature people then who we were in high school. What I don't understand is why they ask to be my friend? I try and talk to them on their page or comment on their pictures and they never reply back or say anything to me. Did you ask so you can see what's going on in my life or to see how many friends you can have? I usually delete them after awhile and then I probably look like the mean girl who deleted them for no reason. My facebook friends are people that if I ran into them, I would talk to them because we are friends and I wouldn't worry about them knowing things going on in my life.
6. My last complaint is not just facebook...it's all the different sites on the internet. I see so many people argue on facebook. I have never quite understood why. If you don't like what somebody says on facebook, just move on. I see too many people putting in their two sense when it shouldn't matter. The other day on facebook, Kidd Kraddick posted a status and asked what people thought about Snooki being pregnant? People actually were fighting with each other over whether she will be a good mother or not. Are we serious people?? We don't even know her and you are fighting over if she is going to be a good mother or not. They called it social networking...interesting.

After all the complaining about things that bother me, I still like facebook. I love to catch up with friends and see what's going on in their lives. I do not like talking on the phone so facebook is perfect for me. I love looking at pictures of them and their family and see all the wonderful things going on for them. It also keeps me busy when I bored. Thank you facebook. :)

Wedding Planning!!

Wow...I haven't posted in so long. I forgot I even had the blog. I'm so bad at keeping up with this. I'm going to try and start up again.
A little update on life:

• My ankle is doing great now. It still gets very stiff and hurts with the weather changes...which has been every other day lately. I guess that is something I will just have to get use to.
• I've been sick like every other weekend. I found out my thyroid is way off again and so that explains some things. I got my medicine upped and hopefully I will be doing good again. It's really hard to lose weight when your metabolism is not working.
• I threw a baby shower for my Associate Pastor and it turned out great. Marta is so amazing and does so much for our Church.


Little diaper bike!
• My Nana is moving here. I'm excited to have her close by but a little sad on why she had to move here so fast. She's having some memory troubles. I just pray we can find some medicine to help her out.
• Kelsi became the Youth Minister at our Church. She is doing a wonderful job! I couldn't be more proud of her.
• As most of you know, I am ENGAGED!!!! The biggest news of all. He proposed in October and the ring is beautiful. I have already broken it and I am waiting to get it back. 187 days until I marry my best friend and become Mrs. Lucas!

Wedding planning has been going great! I pretty much have everything done that I can do at this time. We are getting our save the dates done in two weeks. We had to put them off a bit because I was sick the weekend we were going to get them done. I haven't been too stressed out yet. There have only been two things that have got to me and have me a bit stressed.

1. Money! I never imagined a wedding would be so much money. It's absolutely crazy how much every thing costs. I'm trying to pay for as much as I can so my parents don't have to do it all. It does make it hard though because I am the only one working because Matthew is in school. I just keep thinking as long as I have people there to celebrate our special day, it will be perfect!

2. Invites. If I could, I would invite everybody I know and love but I can't. My church only holds so many and I can only afford dinner for so many. This part has stressed me out the most. I think everybody thinks they are coming. I'm so afraid I will lose friends because they are not invited. I just can only invite my family, relatives, and closest friends. I just pray that people are understanding and that I don't think of them any less but this is all I could invite/afford.

Here are some pictures:

Bridesmaid dress

My rainbow wedding! A little glance...

My beautiful necklace I got for valentines day!

Best card ever!

Cute engagement cupcakes!!

My wedding website: http://www.ewedding.com/sites/matthewandrobin

Just Put On a Smile!

I was very wrong. I'm not sure what I expected but this is not it. I got to the doctors yesterday and they took off my cast. I was surprised my leg wasn't super nasty. It was just hairy. ewwww...which is nasty but not like dirty nasty. I was too freaked out to have my leg out of my cast to realize how amazing it felt to be out. My entire foot was very bruised and that freaked me out a bit. I thought when I got my boot, that I could just start walking. I was terrified to walk on it but at the same time, I was excited. Well the doctor came in and told me REALLY FUN news.
1) I can't walk for two weeks
2) I get it checked after a month and then I still get to wear this fun boot
3) I have to have therapy.
Seriously??? This is not fun news.
Then the nurse came in and and got me ready for the boot. It hurt sooo bad putting my foot in that stinkin boot. I wanted to kick her with it. I almost told her if she pushed any harder she would re break it and then I would break her. :)  I am so over this.
Now I am going to be positive and say that I am one step closer to being done and it will get better. :)

 This is where my ankle would swell and it had no where to go. It looks better in this picture then yesterday when I got it off.

 Bruising on top of my foot. owww

WARNING Rated R picture!

 The side of my ankle that I broke. It's still very swollen. Excuse the NASTY hair. I'm sooo sorry. Just remember if I have to be grossed out, so do you! hee hee

 My GINORMOUS BOOT!

I need to go get some sparklies to make it all purdy! :)



I am watching a little puppy right now to add on to the craziness. This puppy is beyond cute. Only problem is that I thought I could watch her just fine because I was getting my boot and I could walk. WRONG AGAIN. She is all over the place and making such a little mess and I can't do much. Poor Matthew is now helping me do it all. I feel awful because he didn't sign up for this and now he gets to do a majority of it. If I didn't have crutches, I would LOVE it but hopping around and trying not to fall over the dog, has been a challenge. To top off that good news, the front door handle broke and I couldn't get out so I had to use the garage. No bueno. Then I get to my car this morning to leave to fall against the car that was wet. My whole right side was wet and I had no spare clothes. Great morning.

Is she not the cutest little puppy!? 

I am now at work and my morning is going much better. I am sitting at my desk in pain but I have a smile on my face and I am happy when I answer the phone. It's going to get better! Right? There is nothing worse then somebody who is in a bad mood and brings everybody down with them. It's time to turn my day around! It's the WEEKEND!!! :)

WRECK 'EM TECH!!!